If We Didn't Laugh

DANCE OF THE PHANS
(To the tune of "The Dance of the Vampires" - English Demo version)
By Cory
(Graphics by Tiffany)

(Musical lead-in)

WB & ALW:
Now we are set.
We'll film this Phantom movie after all.
We've been smarter than the phans of the Knight.
Those dumb M.C. die-hard phans
Will pour their hearts out,
For they must admit that we have been right.
(spoken):
We have A.B.!

Once and for all,
We will prove beyond doubt
That A.B. can be The Phantom, alright.
The phans believe in the voice of M.C.
They have campaign's attacking us
Just like knives.
(spoken):
Ok, so they're smart.

But we've got power and wealth.
They cannot stop us...
Since Ben Elton has just finished the script.
We're very sure of our goals.
We know which Phantom to cast.
After all, we hold the movie rights.
Ben Elton's script is in motion.
Phantom will never be the same!
(spoken):
...Why are we the only one's who like this version?

(Musical portion begins)

PHANS:
Keep your promise
Or our hearts will be broken.
Keep your promise
Or else we'll feel betrayed.
Cast M.C. before it's too late.
If you do, we will all celebrate!

Better to cast the original Phantom
Than some tone-deaf,
Bloated, Spanish ego.
We want M.C., not this black-hearted "artist."
We want someone in the musical "know."

When your hour of power is over,
We'll be dancing in the cinema's aisles.
We are sure of our goals.
We know which Phantom we want.
We'll take over your job,
If that's what it takes!
We are in motion,
And soon M.C. will be seen
On that big silver screen!

So all of you had better watch out!
We don't want a git and a fart.
Watch out!
The true Phantom's captured our hearts.
Watch out!
You gotta see M.C. play the part.
You gotta see M.C. play the part.

Let the rebels begin.
Let the fire be started.
Elton's script is for the greedy
And the stoney hearted.

Let the phans now be heard
And the imposter deported.
A.B.'s Phantom's for the dimbulbs
And the phoney hearted.

We are tired of injustice.
Now we want some results!
So come on, you PTB,
The Phantom you must cast is M.C.!

You gotta see M.C. play the part!
The true Phantom's captured our hearts!
You gotta see M.C. play the part!
The Phantom you must cast is M.C.!/The true Phantom's captured our hearts!

(instrumental break)

PHANS:
When your hour of power is over,
We'll be dancing in the cinema's aisles.
We are sure of our goals.
We know which Phantom we want.
We'll take over your jobs,
If that's what it takes!
We are in motion
And soon M.C. will be seen
On that big silver screen!

So all of you had better watch out!
We don't want a git and a fart.
Watch out!
The true Phantom's captured our hearts.
Watch out!
You gotta see M.C. play the part.
You gotta see M.C. play the part.

Let the rebels begin.
Let the fire be started.
Elton's script is for the greedy
And the stoney hearted.

Let the phans now be heard
And the imposter deported.
A.B.'s Phantom's for the dimbulbs
And the phoney hearted.

Let the rebels begin.
Let the fire be started./You gotta see M.C. play the part!
Elton's script is for the greedy
And the stoney hearted./The true Phantom's captured our hearts!

Let the phans now be heard
And the imposter deported./You gotta see M.C. play the part!
A.B.'s Phantom's for the dimbulbs
And the phoney hearted./The true Phantom's capture our hearts!

We are tired of injustice.
Now we want some results!
So come on, you PTB,
The Phantom you must cast is M.C.!

You gotta see M.C. play the part!
The true Phantom's captured our hearts!
You gotta see M.C. play the part!
Come on, you PTB
The Phantom you must cast is M.C.!/The true Phantom's captured our hearts!

He captures your heart
And he steals the show.
Nothing's gonna stop him!
Our Phantom's on a roll!

He captures your heart
And he steals the show.
Nothing's gonna stop him!
Our Phantom's on a roll!/The true Phantom's captured our hearts!

He captures your heart
And he steals the show.
Nothing's gonna stop him!
Our Phantom's on a roll!

Ahh!
Ahh!
You gotta see M.C. play the part!
You gotta see M.C. play the part!

(Now begins a repeated ad-lib/fade during which the phans proceed to ambush The Powers That Be, tear up Ben Elton's script, take over the Warner Bros. offices, and start to produce "The Phantom of the Opera" movie themselves.)