Comedy

TMCPMC Questionnaire
by Melinda

There seems to be some confusion and misunderstandings about POTO and the purpose for TMCPMC exhibited by some posters who visit this site. So I tried to come up with a POTO Questionnaire to help identify some of the communication problem areas. This is just a beginning. Please add your own questions to the list.

Please circle your answer for each of the following questions:

1. My level of knowledge about POTO is derived from:
a) reading the book by Gaston Leroux
b) seeing a previous movie version of POTO
c) seeing the play with MC
d) seeing the play with another actor playing the Phantom
e) listening to the OCR
f) listening to other cast recordings
g) all of the above
h) none of the above
i) there’s a book called The Phantom of the Opera?

2. The initials TMCPMC stand for:
a) The Michael Crawford for Phantom Movie Campaign
b) Turmoil Management for Companies with Problematic Musical Composers
c) The My Candidate Proposal for this Movie Campaign (you guys are just SO closed minded)
d) This is a trick question. I have never seen these letters anywhere on any web site on the internet and especially not on your site.
e) None of the above

3. Select one of the following:
a) Erik was deformed at birth
b) Erik was deformed later in life
c) Erik has no deformity, he’s just got an attitude problem
d) Erik has no deformity, he’s very young and handsome
e) Who’s Erik?

4. How does Erik conceal his deformity?
a) he wears heavy makeup
b) he wears a silk scarf and lace glove
c) he wears a mask
d) he wears a bandanna
e) This is a trick question, Erik has no deformity and is very young and handsome

5. The phantom’s age as described by Leroux is approximately:
a) 32
b) 12, he’s just big for his age
c) 25
d) 50
e) yea, whatever

6. The basic story line from POTO is:
a) about a young prince who was changed into a frog by an evil witch casting a spell on him. He becomes a prince once more after he is kissed by a beautiful princess.
b) about an angry young man who was born in an inner city neighborhood and is relying on his dancing skills to break out of his bleak existence. He has a habit of strutting about in white polyester suits and shiny tight fitting shirts.
c) about an older man who has been deformed since birth and living in a labyrinth below the Paris Opera House. He hides his deformity behind a mask and is infatuated with a young ingénue, named Christine, with the Opera theatrical company. Well, you know the rest.
d) about an older man who has been deformed since birth and living in a labyrinth below the Paris Opera House. He hides his deformity behind a mask and is infatuated with a young Vicomte, named Raoul, an aristocratic patron of the Opera. Well, you don’t want to know the rest.
e) there should be a new fresh approach to this old time-worn story. Classics need to be rewritten so they become more relevant to today’s issues. Erik no longer has a deformity, is now very young and handsome due to his recent plastic surgery and now lives in a beach house in Malibu.

7. My level of knowledge about the film industry is based on:
a) my experiences in the entertainment industry as an actor
b) my experiences in the production side of the entertainment industry
c) my experiences in the business management side of the entertainment industry
d) my experiences as an entertainment industry reporter
e) my experiences in attending movies.
f) Extra, Extra
g) I am, therefore I know
h) none of the above

8. My knowledge concerning the future plans of the POTO movie is derived from:
a) hanging with Lorenzo, Jeff and Steve (we’re on a first name basis)
b) attending equestrian galas and slumming with Andrew and Madeleine (we’re on a first name basis)
c) reading the informative and accurate press releases from Emanuel Nunez, CAA for AB
d) being part of the creative development group on this project
e) getting insider information from my third cousin twice removed who works in the mailroom on the second floor of a building down the street from Warner Bros.
f) calling Ms. Cleo during a solar eclipse
g) Okay, I really have no clue. I’m just guessing like everyone else but my guesses are better than yours because I know I’m right. You’re comparing bananas to grapefruit, your analogies are full of explanations of something by comparing them point by point with something similar… what was the question?
h) none of the above

9. My knowledge of the storyline for the latest POTO script is based on:
a) my having proofread the latest screenplay manuscript for the movie version of POTO which is now in the outbox on my desk
b) my being a well informed Hollywood insider who has a very close personal friendship with Ben Elden who has recently confided in me that he is very confident that his script has been enthusiastically accepted due to his close working relationship with our very close mutual friend, Andrew Floyd Webster, after their highly successful collaborative project, "The Beautiful Game" now playing on Broadway to standing room only audiences.
c) my being hired as an assistant apprentice grip for this project. I have been given a copy of the script which will assist me in searching for an authentic Victorian era apothecary vessel used for containing acid. Erik is very young and handsome until…
d) my own personal preferences on how I feel the script should be written. Erik is very young and handsome.
e) this is a trick question, there is no script

10. Warners and ALW are basing their casting decisions for the role of the Phantom on:
a) the abilities and qualifications of the actor to act well, sing opera, express emotion through body and hand movements with his face covered with latex and a mask
b) the recommendations of close family members of ALW who have expertise in and a great love of musical theater
c) the abilities of unqualified actors to convince themselves that they have the ability to act well, sing opera, express emotion through body and hand movements with their face covered with latex and a mask
d) the abilities of unqualified actors to convince themselves that they have the ability to act well, sing opera, express emotion through body and hand movements with their face covered with latex and a mask while speaking English
e) force-casting by a bunch of close minded POTO phans

11. The producers of the POTO movie should cast a young and handsome actor for the role of the Phantom because:
a) the phantom’s face will be seen on the BIG SCREEN
b) the phantom’s tanned skin tones should realistically reflect his lifestyle of living in an underground, dark, and dank labyrinth all his life.
c) who wants to see a movie about some depressing, old deformed guy who is an emotional basket case, chasing after some young chick who really wants some other guy closer to her own age and better looking but the old guy has put some magical spell on her so that she doesn’t know that she really wants the younger guy. What’s the point? I don’t get it.
d) his deformity, since you all seem to be obsessing about this, could be something like a severe case of acne that he can hide with that silly mask you all seem to want him to wear. His acne could be miraculously cured so that he can remove the mask and have an exciting duel with Raoul. This would be more entertaining and less boring. Plus he could win the duel with Raoul and marry Christine in the end. Wouldn’t this be less depressing and emotional?
e) this is a trick question, because no producer in his right mind who ever read the book or saw the play would cast a young and handsome actor in this role just to cover his face with a mound of latex and a mask to simulate an older man in his 50’s who was born with a deformity that he hides behind a mask.. Duh, what's the point?

12. The mission of TMCPMC is:
a) devoted to being an open forum to facilitate debate on the casting for the role of the Phantom in the movie version of POTO
b) devoted to encouraging Warners and ALW to completely abandon the musical score and plot of the financially successful stage version of POTO
c) devoted to assisting Warners and ALW in their efforts to the completely abandon the POTO phans
d) devoted entirely to the cause of promoting the casting of Michael Crawford as the Phantom in the upcoming film version of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s The Phantom of the Opera
e) devoted to encouraging movie audiences to graciously make donations to support the "Actors who are Musically Challenged Foundation" through their attendance to Not-so-bad Musicals

13. The reason(s) why I visit this web site are: (more than one answer can be circled)
a) to share and access information concerning the POTO film project
b) to discuss different casting possibilities for any roles other than the role of the phantom
c) to discuss different directorial possibilities
d) to obtain access to unlimited caches of ding dongs and chalk
e) to access any POTO related web site on the internet because I have been banned from posting to every other POTO web site but yours
f) to access any web site on the internet because I have been banned from posting to every other web site but yours
g) to support the mission of TMCPMC through letter writing to TPTB, media outlets and posting to the message board and the guestbook
h) to be a part of the camaraderie shared with others who believe in the mission of TMCPMC

14. My level of knowledge concerning gerontology derives from:
a) my experiences as a researcher in the field of gerontology
b) my experiences as a physician who has conducted research and has a specialty in the field of gerontology
c) my experiences as nurse who has conducted research and has a specialty in the field of gerontology
d) my experiences from conversations with my dog about gerontology
e) Okay, I really have no clue. I just know I’m absolutely right about how people age. You people are just SOOOO closed minded and Erik is still young and handsome.
f) yea, whatever, you are comparing kiwi to rutabaga

15, The definition of the word ‘gerontology’ is:
a) the scientific study of the process of aging and of the problems of aged people
b) the scientific study of the process of how we perceive the process of aging and the problems of aged people
c) the scientific study of why people persist on promoting the unscientific process of how they positively perceive the process of aging and the problems of aged people
d) the scientific study of why people persist on promoting the unscientific process of how they positively perceive the process of aging and the problems of aged people and its application in the casting process for the role of the phantom in POTO
e) the scientific study of why people persist on promoting the unscientific process of how they positively perceive the process of aging and the problems of aged people and its application in the casting of their personal choice rather than Michael Crawford as the phantom in POTO