Comedy

IF WE DIDN’T LAUGH– campaign humor

Top 10 signs you are working too hard on the campaign..... :)

-Your campaign button has accidentally gone through the wash at least 5 times.

-You know the addresses of major newspapers in at least 3 states but haven't read your local paper since August.

-Every night you can recall and quote all the day's e-mail but you have no idea what you had for lunch.

- There is enough dust in your house to sculpt a small asteroid.

- The dog has more frequent beauty appointments than you do.

- Decorations for the last 3 major holidays are fighting for air in the darkest corner of your house.

-Your husbands 5 o’clock shadow is starting to look more and more like a mask.

-You have more un-deleted e-mail than Ricky Martin.

-You keep calling your children Erik or Michael, and some of them are girls.

- You automatically Hiss every time some one says "Warner Brothers."

Top Ten Signs That You've Hired the Wrong Phantom  
contributed by Dale Crawford

 
10. On his resume, his credits include EVER having used the line, "The plane!  The plane!"

9. During rehearsals, he daintily asks, "In the end scene, could Christine just shake my hand instead of . . .And, can I borrow that dress?"

8. The Phantom can throw a football better than he can throw his voice.

7. He appears on top of the Angel wearing a safety harness, full-body padding and a parachute.

6. When Christine gives the mask back to the Phantom, he secures it with Duct Tape.

5. The Phantom signs, "Let your dreams begin, let your darker side give in and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son!"

4. The Phantom rides down on the falling chandelier, shouting, "YeeeeeHaaaawwwww!!"

3. Instead of "You will curse the day you did not do . . . ," the Phantom sings, "I've had alls I can stands, and I can't stands no more!  Yuk uk uk uk!"

2. His initials start with M.C. but don't end there.  Examples:  M. C. Escher, M. C. Hammer or M. C. Freshy-Fresh.

And, the Number One way to tell that you've hired the wrong actor to play the Phantom . . .

1. He suggests adding a "Cops" style scene at the end, where the mob crashes in the Lair and turns the place upside down until they discover the Phantom cowering in a closet under some dirty tuxedos wearing nothing but his boxers.